Words sometimes turn out to mean the opposite from what they used to. Cleave is one of these words. It has been confusing to me unless I recognize this contradiction. And also realize that cleave is not alone among words. They are called contronyms.
Cleave can mean "To stick; to adhere;", as in "If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth;" (Ps 137:6)
Similarly it means "To unite or be united closely in interest or affection; to adhere with strong attachment." as in "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (D&C 42:22) and "forsake all evil and cleave unto all good, that ye shall live by every word which proceedeth forth out of the mouth of God." (D&C 98:11)
The opposite meaning is seen in cleaver, a knife that is used to cut meat.
So what do I adhere to? To what have I affection and am strongly attached to? What competes for my attention? That might distract me from the most important?
There are times when life gives you moments of clarity. Like tonight when Steph noticed that I moved my hand from her arm to her hand. You see I sweat easily and her skin gets irritated by it. She noticed it. But I didn't. She told me and we had a tender moment. I could see that in some ways I am becoming the man I aspire to be. It was a moment to see the direction I am going. What I am becoming.
I hope to continue on that path.
It reminds me of the moment in The Matrix when Neo recognizes he has complete control over his virtual surroundings. Or when Eragon in the Inheritance Cycle series recognizes that he must not become faster in his sword skills, he must only wait for the right moment. Or Nephi as he stood on the shore working to build the ship God asked him to build. He said that nothing is impossible for the Lord. If He asked Nephi to command the water that it be dry ground and if Nephi were to give that command, the water would become dry ground. Or when Gandalf says to the bellowing balrog, "You. Shall. Not. Pass."
Sometimes I feel that power. The power of God. The power of Good. Mostly I don't feel it that strongly though. Most of the time is spent doing regular things. Menial tasks. The laundry. The homework. The grocery shopping.
I am reminded of the pilot who saved the flight that was rising out of an airport in New York City. He said something to the effect that he went through training his entire career. He practiced the training and over the years he had built up a reserve that he was able to tap. When he needed it, it was there. He tapped his reserves and it came out all right.
That is what I want for my family and friends and community. I want it to turn out all right. Ultimately. Finally. Eternally. It is so interesting that these destinies come from every day decisions. That turn into every day habits. That turn into the character of the people we are. That determines our destinies. Our every little decision. Piled up over our lifetimes. And eternities before and eternities to come.
My church teaches me that this life is different than what we experienced before. That in this life, time exists. There are deadlines. If you don't meet the deadline, no one saves you. Or if they do, it's because they have gone above and beyond. Our lives are messy. We don't remember our existence before. We are here to live by faith. To see through a glass darkly.
We are more mold-able here. We have tabernacles of flesh, maybe that is one reason. Time causes things to change. The fall of Adam caused entropy or a tendency for things to go towards chaos. We must work to retain our lives.
I have not seen the lives we have ahead of us after this life. I do know that we can improve our lives in the here and now by practicing Goodness. Be Good according to the dictates of my conscience. And when I fall short, get, back up and try again. Allow forgiveness for myself and others.
I have faith in a great life to come. That never ends for any of us. We are Eternal beings, spiritually born of The Eternal Being. Our lives are what we make of them. The moral choices we make each day. We can choose happiness or misery. These don't come in one day but they do come drop by drop, day by day until we obtain an infinity of Goodness by the Grace of God, an exceeding depth of pain and bitterness, or somewhere in between.
So what choose you? I choose life and life more abundantly. But each day will be the verifier. Choose each day to keep trusting in God. To allow happiness in my tasks. To lean into the work I have to do. All with a prayer of gratitude for the chance to experience it and to do my part to pass it on.
There are a couple of James Taylor songs that sum up how I feel about my wife and her soul saving influence in my life. I am so grateful for her love, patience and example of unwearied diligence. "She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me of the happiness and the good times that I know"
Something In The Way She Moves
Something in the way she moves, or looks my way, or calls my name
that seems to leave this troubled world behind.
And if I'm feeling down and blue or troubled by some foolish game,
she always seems to make me change my mind..
And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost about all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.
Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
and I find myself careening in places where I should not let me go.
She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me
of the happiness and the good times that I know, and then I just got to go then.
It isn't what she's got to say but how she thinks and where she's been.
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound.
I like to hear them best that way, it doesn't much matter what they mean.
she says them mostly just to calm me down
And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost about all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.
Mean Old Man
On my own
How could I have known?
Imagine my surprise
Just a fool
From a tree full of fools
Who can't believe his eyes
Imagine my surprise
I was a mean old man
I was an ornery cuss
I was a dismal dan
I made an awful fuss
Ever since my life began
Man, it was ever thus
I was a nasty tyke who was hard to like
I had to misbehave
I did things in reverse
Refused to wash or shave
I was horrid to my nurse
I got back what I gave
Which only made me worse
I had to have my way
Which was bleak and gray, oh dear
Living in here
One hundred years of rain
Such a drag
This riches to rags
With just myself to blame
A dirty low-down shame
Silly me
Silly old me
Somewhere outside my mind
Clever you
Walking me through
Willing to lead the blind
Just in the nick of time
Who gets a second chance?
Who gets to have some fun?
Who gets to learn to dance
Before his race is run?
Who gets to she'd his skin?
Who comes up born again?
Who was a mean old man
'til you turned him into a golden retriever
Puppy dog
Who's a good boy?
-
My wife bought me the Sunshine on Leith album by The Proclaimers for me recently. I love it! I remember around five years ago, I came home. Stephanie was gone for some reason. I put this cassette in and danced to it with the kids for at least an hour. It was one of those moments that you don't forget. How happy I was to be with my kids and the joy of dance and music.
On the way to work I was listening again. One line from the "Then I Met You" track is,
Thought that I was whole instead of being half of something
My dear wife is so strong, so persistent. She works hard and then keeps on giving. She is passionate. One recent example is the fortieth wedding anniversary she helped to organize for her parents. She gave it her all. I tell you what, I am so glad to have all of her back again. Her parents are worth it. It was only a limited time. I did miss her.
I think of this scripture when I think of my sweetheart,
...I salute you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, in token or remembrance of the everlasting covenant, in which covenant I receive you to fellowship, in a determination that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend and brother through the grace of God in the bonds of love, to walk in all the commandments of God blameless, in thanksgiving, forever and ever. Amen. D&C 88:133
I am so grateful to have her. She is my better half. With her I am complete. As we continue to keep our covenants with God, we will become whole. We will fill the measure of our creation. Having her at my side gives me added confidence that I will continue in the path of God. She is a gift.
The Lord does not expect that we do what we cannot achieve. The command to become perfect, as He is, encourages us to achieve the best of ourselves, to discover and develop the talents and attributes with which we are blessed by a loving Eternal Father, who invites us to realize our potential as children of God. He knows us; He knows of our capacities and our limitations. The invitation and challenge to become perfect, to achieve eternal life is for all mankind.
Immediately after teaching that “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength,” King Benjamin indicated that “it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize." God will not require more than the best we can give because that would not be just, but neither can He accept less than that because that would not be just either. Therefore, let us always give the best we can in the service of God and our fellowmen. Let us serve in our families and in our callings in the Church in the best manner possible. Let us do the best we can and each day be a little better. (Jorge F. Zeballos, “Attempting the Impossible,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 33–34, [Emphasis is mine])
I am grateful to have such a devoted, loving and kind wife as my partner in creating heaven on earth.
