This story reminded me of the way to break that cycle. She didn't dance that unhealthy dance. She got out of the way of the issues her husband was having. She was patient and loving and independent. I like how she summed it up at the end,
I also like this bit.
My husband tried to strike a deal. Blame me for his pain. Unload his feelings of personal disgrace onto me.But I ducked. And I waited. And it worked.
it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.