Yielding to the Enticings

When I woke up this morning it was clear what I was to do.  

I had been angry with my son when I hit him with the pillow. I didn't realize it at the time but I was upset when he made that noise while I was reading the scriptures. The noise I could barely hear. When I asked if him if he was making noise, he just smiled like he thought it was funny. My thought was that he was not showing me respect and I was upset. Then when he was messing around with his brother and threw the pillow at him, I acted without thinking. I picked up a pillow and hit him with it.  I did it in anger, to force him to submit to me.  

So I was angry with my son. I wanted him to submit to me before he made the noise. To not do it in the first place.  I didn't not want him playing fun when I was reading scriptures. I was upset when he pointed out that I was angry and that I should be setting the example. I was stewing last night.  

I apologized to my son in the car before we left this morning. I let him know that it was not OK for me to be angry even if I felt that I was being disrespected by my son. I also let him know that the right thing to do if you do get angry is to admit what you did wrong and apologize. If it happens one to one, then you apologize one to one. If it happens in public, you apologize in public. I said I was planning to apologize when our family was together again tonight.

It was this scripture that helped me to recognize my fault and what I was to do to be reconciled.
D&C 42:88-93

 88 And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.
 89 And if he or she confess not thou shalt deliver him or her up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders. And it shall be done in a meeting, and that not before the world.
 90 And if thy brother or sister offend many, he or she shall be chastened before many.
 91 And if any one offend openly, he or she shall be rebuked openly, that he or she may be ashamed. And if he or she confess not, he or she shall be delivered up unto the law of God.
 92 If any shall offend in secret, he or she shall be rebuked in secret, that he or she may have opportunity to confess in secret to him or her whom he or she has offended, and to God, that the church may not speak reproachfully of him or her.
 93 And thus shall ye conduct in all things.

I also thought of this scripture, Mosiah 3:19. Am I to submit to the Lord because He is an angry God? Because I am afraid of what my punishment will be? Or because I am afraid that He might be angry with magma simmering just underneath the surface? 

No that is not right. It is not the way God is. If I am to have the respect of my children, I am to model the behavior of my perfect Father in Heaven. God may reprove betimes with sharpness but not because He loses his temper. Because he gives correction at the time when it will be received best. He does it with the sharpness or exactness of the Spirit.  In a way where we will only receive it if we are willing to listen.  

Then I have received the challenge from the Holy Ghost to change. To turn my face to God. To turn to the better way. To leave behind anger and all its chains. It is because God loves me and is willing to reason with me to teach me the ways of happiness that I have the respect I have for God. I love Him because His first loved me. He loves me enough to correct me in a timely and uplifting way.

-Richard