Since then my experience as a church member, or as a father and a husband, has been much the same. Never an unmixed success. Never a performance that I could feel I hadn’t unnecessarily tainted with sins of commission and omission. I am a shabby Mormon. These failures are better than successes elsewhere. I have found more joy making a hash of things in the gospel path than would be possible on any other path pursued however flawlessly. I mean that.
“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”
C.S. Lewis, in Screwtape, showed us that the fear of death was harder to endure than death.
“A man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for.”
One of the themes of this blog is that failure is always an option. I would almost say that it is the only option. Come, flounder with us. ("Being a Mormon is Hard", Junior Ganymede, Nov, 4, 2013 )My experience is the same as Junior Ganymede. I don't think highly of my experience on my mission. I attribute nearly all of my success since to my wonderful wife who has inspired, and and times, prodded me in the way I knew was healthiest for me to go.
The last paragraph above contains a point that should not be missed. I think this life is designed for us to fail. I think that is the primary test for each of us. In the infinite variety of strengths and weaknesses were are all gifted with, the greatest is the opportunity to act in relation to our failure.
Will we, like my deepest tendency is, attempt to hide until we have fully overcome our most shameful attributes? Or instead, will we forge ahead and decide that we cannot be what we want to be, what the Lord has said we can be, without his hand.
Like Peter faltered so do we all. It is only through the hand of the Lord and the loving word of chastisement that we both receive his grace and recognize our failings and can therefore begin our work to overcome them, hand in hand with the Lord.
We must be willing to dare greatly and be the (wo)man in the arena. Not waiting until we are bullet-proof. Letting others see us, and hopefully join with us in a heavenly quest of evolving, growing, becoming like God.