"through Christ which strengtheneth me"

Here is a good lesson from "Believing Christ: A Practical Approach to the Atonement" by Stephen E. Robinson May 29, 1990. (mp3)

Sometimes the weight of the demand for perfection drives us to despair. Sometimes we fail to believe that most choice portion of the gospel that says he can change us and bring us into his kingdom. Let me share an experience that happened about ten years ago. My wife and I were living in Pennsylvania. Things were going pretty well; I'd been promoted. It was a good year for us, though a trying year for Janet. That year she had our fourth child, graduated from college, passed the CPA exam, and was made Relief Society president. We had temple recommends, we had family home evening. I was in the bishopric. I thought we were headed for "LDS yuppiehood." Then one night the lights went out. Something happened in my wife that I can only describe as "dying spiritually." She wouldn't talk about it; she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. That was the worst part. For a couple of weeks she did not wish to participate in spiritual things. She asked to be released from her callings, and she would not open up and tell me what was wrong. 

Finally, after about two weeks, one night I made her mad and it came out. She said, "All right. You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I can't do it anymore. I can't lift it. I can't get up at 5:30 in the morning and bake bread and sew clothes and help my kids with their homework and do my own homework and do my Relief Society stuff and get my genealogy done and write the congressman and go to the PTA meetings and write the missionaries . . ." And she just started naming one brick after another that had been laid on her, explaining all the things she could not do. She said, "I don't have the talent that Sister Morrell has. I can't do what Sister Childs does. I try not to yell at the kids, but I lose control, and I do. I'm just not perfect, and I'm not ever going to be perfect. I'm not going to make it to the celestial kingdom, and I've finally admitted that to myself. You and the kids can go, but I can't lift it. I'm not 'Molly Mormon,' and I'm not ever going to be perfect, so I've given up. Why break my back?"

This is one of my favorite talks ever.  It brings me hope.  I came to recognize that the Savior is called this because he saves.  Robinson uses a funny illustration, "What good is it to have a savior if no one is saved? It's like having a lifeguard that won't get out of the chair. 'There goes another one down. Try the backstroke! Oh, too bad, he didn't make it.' "

I particularly like the analogy of a merger.  Me as a bankrupt small business and the Savior as a large corporation with much assets.  We merge and my liabilities merge with His assets and together we are solvent.  The merging is the covenant he uses another analogy that fits even better, Marriage.

He proposes to us a covenant relationship. I use the word "propose" on purpose because it is a marriage of a spiritual sort that is being proposed. That is why he is called the Bridegroom. This covenant relationship is so intimate that it can be described as a marriage. I become one with Christ, and as partners we work together for my salvation and my exaltation. My liabilities and his assets flow into each other. I do all that I can do, and he does what I cannot yet do. The two of us together are perfect.

I love the Savior.  I know that I am ever in need of His help.  As I work the plan of His proposal I overcome the effects of sin.  If I fall and stumble, He is there for me, if I will allow the covenant relationship to work.  If I allow Him to help me to save me from the less than good in me.

Update:  I changed the title of this post from "I can't do it" to "through Christ which strengtheneth me" from Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me".  I like focusing on the positive the reality of what my covenant relationship with Christ enables.  Not the inaccurate negative of the original title.  I used the original title because surrender to God is so important.

See also parable of the piano

Believing Christ

One of the most powerful books I have read is Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson.

In January I was feeling very over-whelmed. I felt similar to Stephen's wife. I felt like I couldn't do the gospel I know to be true. It is not the first time I have felt this way. The parable of the bicycle was very useful to me in understanding how the atonement works:

I was sitting in a chair reading. My daughter, Sarah, who was seven years old at the time, came in and said, “Dad, can I have a bike? I’m the only kid on the block who doesn’t have one.”

Well, I didn’t have the money then for a bike, so I stalled her. I said, “Sure, Sarah.”

She said, “How? When?”

I said, “You save all your pennies, and soon you’ll have enough for a bike.” And she went away.

A couple of weeks later I was sitting in the same chair when I heard a “clink, clink” in Sarah’s bedroom. I asked, “Sarah, what are you doing?”

She came to me with a little jar, a slit cut in the lid, and a bunch of pennies in the bottom. She said, “You promised me that if I saved all my pennies, pretty soon I’d have enough for a bike. And, Daddy, I’ve saved every single one of them.”

My heart melted. My daughter was doing everything in her power to follow my instructions. I hadn’t actually lied to her. If she saved all of her pennies, she would eventually have enough for a bike, but by then she would want a car. I said, “Let’s go look at bikes.”

We went to every store in town. Finally we found it—the perfect bicycle. She was thrilled. Then she saw the price tag, and her face fell. She started to cry. “Oh, Dad, I’ll never have enough for a bicycle!”

So I said, “Sarah, how much do you have?”

She answered, “Sixty-one cents.”

“I’ll tell you what. You give me everything you’ve got and a hug and a kiss, and the bike is yours.” Then I drove home very slowly because she insisted on riding the bike home.

As I drove beside her, I thought of the atonement of Christ. We all desperately want the celestial kingdom. We want to be with our Father in Heaven. But no matter how hard we try, we come up short. At some point all of us must realize, “I can’t do this by myself. I need help.” Then it is that the Savior says, in effect, All right, you’re not perfect. But what can you do? Give me all you have, and I’ll do the rest.

He still requires our best effort. We must keep trying. But the good news is that having done all we can, it is enough. We may not be personally perfect yet, but because of our covenant with the Savior, we can rely on his perfection, and his perfection will get us through.

(Stephen E. Robinson, “Believing Christ,” Ensign, Apr 1992, 5)

In January, I allowed my personal despair to turn against my wife badly. She was patient and kind to me. I learned something very valuable from her. When I am feeling overwhelmed, when my list of things to do and the list of stuff I have not done overcomes me, remember just a few things. Trust God, be happy and work hard.

"This too shall pass" is a phrase my wife has used. When I trust God, I remember that the difficulty I am currently feeling will not last forever. Trusting God to do His part is believing Christ.

Being happy is a choice. Regardless of the circumstances, I can choose it. And even if I don't feel it, I can be polite and kind. My wife has an amazing gift to show kindness even if she is not feeling well. Holding an unkind tongue can save me much grief.

Putting my effort into worthwhile tasks is a balm to my soul that comes from nowhere else. Yesterday was one of those days where I got a lot done. It feels so good to lay down to sleep and know you put in an honest day's work.

The story of brother Robinson's son touches me. There are times that I am not sure that Heavenly Father and I can "be friends". That is just a lack of faith on my part. Sincere, regular prayer builds my faith. As I do those things that build my faith in Jesus Christ, I feel confidence in Him. He is mighty to save. His grace sustains me. As I do my part, my confidence strengthens.

When all else fails, I will remember to Trust God, Be Happy and Work Hard.

Here is Stephen Robinson's May 29, 1990 BYU devotional address on the same topic.

See also parable of the piano