"I, the Lord, will feel after them"

"And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them." (D&C 112:13)

I have sometimes sung "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" to my children at bedtime. I have fond memories of my mother singing it to me as she rocked me to sleep. It is among my earliest memories. Years ago, as I sang it, a new meaning came to me. My children are far from me. Far because of the truth of the free will of the human soul. God designed us that way. His plan for our eternal happiness depends on it. Jesus defended the Father's plan against Lucifer in our pre-mortal life.

The song reminded me that I must invite and persuade my children to follow Jesus. It is not possible for me to force them. And God would not want me to. We are here on earth to learn the difference between good and evil and to learn to choose the good. To be good, to become good like Jesus has shown us.

The scripture above tells me that the Lord feels after us. He will not force himself upon me. My experience with the Holy Spirit has taught me this. God allows us to do unspeakably horrible things to each other. Why? Maybe because that is the only way some of us will learn to stop doing them. Stop being selfish. Instead to unify my will with His.

This life is short. But it is not a practice sand-box. We are making real decisions causing either real, supernal joy, misery or something in between. What do I want? As soon as I decide to make a half measure toward God, I sense him feeling after me as we see in Michelangelo portraying.

He is reaching after me. So my heart can be softened. So my neck can be loosened; to be converted and healed. So I can learn to live after the manner of happiness.

Yearning for God

On Sunday my friend Bruce shared his testimony to our congregation.  There was a part that resonated with me. He talked about how he had left the church.  Later he had remarried.  He thought he should be happy.  Yet he felt a deep loneliness.  He described it as being because the Spirit had left him.

There have been a few times that I felt that.  I felt a yearning for God and a life God would bless.  For me these times serve as a warning.  That a life lived only for myself will ultimately be empty.  When I forget myself and serve others as I think God would, then the Holy Presence comes into my life.  Then I feel an abundance of life and love.  My Yearning has turned to Surrender.  Surrender to God and how I feel he wants me to live. Now it is only to practice those truths.  To work each day to keep the presence of the Spirit in my life and to serve the Savior of my soul.

"Sunday Morning Coming Down", Lyrics

It was this song by Johnny Cash that helped me remember that feeling I had and that I feel Bruce described.

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