Lean in to where the Magic Happens

The following is from Lisa Capretto of OWN

When something makes you uncomfortable — whether it’s as simple as hearing a condescending comment from a friend or as life-altering as being cheated on by a partner — most people immediately develop a particular narrative about what they’ve just experienced. They’ll feel insulted, betrayed, hurt. They’ll tell themselves the story of why this unpleasant thing happened, and often, the gut-reaction narrative soon impacts our self-worth. “He doesn’t respect me,” for example, morphs into, “I’m not worthy of respect.” “She doesn’t love me,” can become, “I’m not lovable.” 

Researcher and best-selling author Brené Brown has seen (and even experienced) this type of narrative on various scales. As she tells Oprah on “SuperSoul Sunday,” the reason why we tell ourselves these lies comes down to one primitive thing: survival. 

“Our brain is wired, above all else, for survival. So, the minute we have a threat, whether it’s anxiety, fear, shame, whatever that threat is, our brain says, ‘Give me a story,’” Brown says. “Our brain recognizes the pattern of a narrative: Beginning, middle, end. ‘Give me a story that tells me who’s safe, who’s good, who’s bad, who’s dangerous.’” 

Typically this story forms in an instant, she continues. “It’s really about trying to make sense of things very quickly,” Brown says. 

However, in this haste, our brain overlooks something very important. 

“What our brain does not take into consideration is the need for discomfort and vulnerability in real relationship,” Brown says. 

You may want to sidestep the discomfort, but Brown says that doing the exact opposite is actually what will help you overcome the feeling and rise above the pain. 

“It’s he or she who’s willing to be the most uncomfortable can rise strong,” Brené says. “Discomfort: the way home.” 

It may be more tempting to lean away from discomfort with “a glass of red wine, or six,” Brené jokes, but leaning in is far more powerful. This is a concept that Oprah articulates back to Brené with just a few words. 

“Leaning into it actually helps you eventually push through,” she says. 

“It does,” Brené nods. “It can revolutionize the way you live, the way you love, the way you lead, the way you parent. It has completely changed everything for me.”

Oprah asked Brene Brown, "What is the greatest truth that you practice regularly; that you embrace in your daily life?". Her response is "Be Brave, Show up" (https://youtu.be/LYFRcK4hDes at 2:39)

Take Courage

"Take Courage" Starlight
Bethel Music & Kristene DiMarco

Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

Sing praise my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His Words lead you on
Do not forget
His great faithfulness
He'll finish all He's begun

So take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing

And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory!

So take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
Watch your triumph unfold
He's never failing
He's never failing

So take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
Watch your triumph unfold
He's never failing
He's never failing!


He's in the waiting...

I Can Be An Elephant Hunter

In one of the talks I listened to recently from Life Leadership, they spoke about being an elephant hunter. They talked about how that occurs sometimes in business. That sometime on a board of directors someone talks about bringing up the elephant in the room. They then said that powerful leaders don't just suggest that there might be an elephant in the room. They are elephant hunters. They seek out the most important issues facing the business.

In the same way, I can be an elephant hunter in all aspects of my life.

I can face the dangers of pornography in my life and in the life of my children and challenge my close friends to do the same. Here is a video that may be helpful to you and your family.

I can take responsibility for my part in the finances of my family and have frank, kind discussions with my wife.

I can take on all the elephants in my life.

"not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage"

Sometimes life gets too busy.  There have been times when I go through the motions because that is what must be done.  If I don't refresh my own well, if I don't take the time to drink deeply of the living waters, the precious plant of testimony will wilt and with continued neglect it will die.

I often think of the vision of the tree of life.  Sometimes I have found myself away from the rod.  Bumbling in the mists of darkness.  The true danger is that once blinded I may not want to return.  Doubt can be a poison that affects my spiritual reasoning so that I cannot see what is real.

This afternoon I listened to "Start Early and Be Steady" by Henry Eyring.  He gave this talk in Oct 2005.  I think about the changes that have happened in my life in the last five and a half years.  I think about several individuals and families and how their lives are so different, for what I see towards the worse.  I think about those that have remained healthy both spiritually and otherwise.  What has made the difference?  I do not know the hearts of others, but I do know mine.

Elder Eyring gave this talk several months after hurricane Katrina.  Many were in the mindset of what they could do to be physically prepared.  A few weeks ago, one of the most strong earthquakes ever recorded hit Japan.  I understand that the Japanese were more prepared than most.  Elder Eyring spoke of spiritual preparation:

That preparation must be started far in advance because it takes time. What we will need then can’t be bought. It can’t be borrowed. It doesn’t store well. And it has to have been used regularly and recently.

What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends. That test is part of the purpose God had for us in the Creation.
...
So, the great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God’s commands in the midst of the storms of life. It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage. And the tragedy of life is to fail in that test and so fail to qualify to return in glory to our heavenly home.

So have I prepared?  I guess I have somewhat.  Perhaps the worst storms of my life have not yet come.  What I do know is that I want to be prepared for whatever comes.  Sister Clark on Sunday referred to this talk by Ronald Bartholomew.  He quotes Elder Ballard,

some parents become so expert at filling every physical desire for their children that they begin to suppose that all is well in this life and that their eternal stewardship is progressing right on schedule. … I believe that we must pause and take a careful inventory to determine how well our families are doing spiritually. We could ask how well are we feeding, nurturing, training, and exercising the spirits of our children; or how well have we taught, trained, loved, and inspired our children to build their spiritual muscles and strength? … Remember, eternity is now, not a vague, distant future. We prepare each day, right now, for eternal life. If we are not preparing for eternal life, we are preparing for something else, perhaps something far less.

I don't want less.  I want what Abraham wanted,

And, finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same; having been myself a follower of righteousness, desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers. (Abr 1:2)

So what do I do to be prepared?  I am not to trifle with sacred things, like my testimony.  I won't consider it a mere experiment I am trying out, I am to hold it dear and nourish it by the good word of God.  I am to add to my oil that cannot be bought or borrowed.  By obedience to what the Holy Ghost has confirmed to me.  I am to pray.  With earnestness, with patience, with trust.  I am to build up a hedge around my family and friends.  I am to listen to the watchmen on the tower, the Seers.  I am to rejoice in the promise and evidence of continuing revelation.

I will start early, and be steady.  I have seen the blessings of those who have.  I have seen the results of those who have not.
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The Spirit of Power and of Love

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all I need to do. Often then, I do nothing. It is better to just be up and doing and then remember the following.

Remember not to run faster than you have strength. Mos 4:27 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7

I truly feel that there is a power that comes into my life as I foster a spirit of obedience. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Therefore dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His hand to be revealed." D&C 123:17

"Integrity of Heart"

I listened to Russell M. Nelson yesterday and this morning. It reminded me of my post yesterday. He suggested some questions you can use to prompt introspection.

What do you do when you make a mistake? (If you don't make mistakes, you must have died long ago.) Do you admit your error and apologize? Or do you deny it? Or do you blame others?

Like the experienced fisherman we must promptly repair our nets of integrity or the "sequential stress" will cause more and more tears. "If you tolerate a little sin today, you tolerate a little more tomorrow, and before long, a cord of integrity is broken."

Now please don't be discouraged or depressed by your shortcomings. No one is without weakness. That's part of the divine plan--to determine if you will master that weakness or let that weakness master you. Proper diagnosis is essential to proper treatment. The Lord gave us this remarkable assurance: "Because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be made strong" (D&C 135:5). But wishing for strength won't make it so. It takes faith and work to shore up a weakened cord of integrity.

He quoted Orson Pratt, "when the Lord saw the integrity of my heart and the anxiety of my mind--when He saw that I was willing to travel hundreds of miles for the sake of learning the principles of the truth, He gave me a testimony for myself". The Lord blesses me based on the manifestations of my faith. By what I do. It proves to Him that He can trust me with what He blesses me with. What am I willing to do to get the blessings the Lord is waiting to give me?

What are the blessings of integrity? "Integrity safeguards family love, and love makes family life rich and zestful--now and forever".