This blog is pro conjugal marriage. What I love about it is how much compassion and empathy I see in her for others.
on this site we talk about holding tightly to truth and love. This blog is a great forum for the “truth” side of things. But the “love” part is something that has to be lived out off the page. I know that many of you are already doing this kind of real-life-love-in-action. I’ve seen it. But I’ve had a couple recent conversations with believers who want to love radically, but don’t know what it looks like. They fear that their involvement will translate as implied approval. My advice: don’t worry about that. Just be the most generous, supportive, inviting person that they come in contact with. By no means do I live this out perfectly, but I learn best by example. So I thought I’d give you one up-close-and-personal example of my own. ("The power of soup and a listening ear", Katy Faust, 27 Oct 2014)
It was my son's turn to prepare the lesson for our home teaching visit. I looked up stories from General Conference and found this video.
It brought to mind my own experiences with kindness. I know in my life that love; the kind that causes hearts to want to peek out from their fox holes... Love changed me. Not only the love of my parents. It was the love of my father and mother in law. The love of my wife, that caused me to wake up to what I might lose without them. Love that they wanted me with them, in this life and the next.
Love caused my heart to come out of its barricade. To be vulnerable. To allow the Lord to change it. Elder Bednar told us that the Spirit can bring the truth unto but not into our hearts. The Lord respects our moral agency so much, that he will never violate the will of a soul. We must choose to follow Him.
Yesterday my son serving a mission expressed this lesson like this, "I've really learned a lot up here, probably one of the biggest would be that all we need to do for those who stray is not to pressure them but to just love them."
I have a friend who has a 16 year old son who is an atheist. Here is some of the things I thought of to help them.
I am not sure what Moroni did to "[prepare] the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God"
(Alma 47:7) As I consider it, I think of this quote from Joseph Smith,
Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind. (Joseph Smith, Nauvoo Relief Society Minute Book, p. 59, History of the Church, 5:23–24.)
Moroni said, "Charity never faileth". So we must all pray with all the energy of our hearts that we may be filled with this love. Pray for your son. Serve him. Ask the Lord, in what ways you might be able to touch his heart, or that others might be placed in his path so his heart might be touched. I like this modern casting of Charity never faileth, "Love Wins!"
I know the deepest and longest lasting effects in my life have come from when those close to me loved me, forgave me and served me.
And trust in the Lord. There is no need to despair when we have faith in the Lord's timeline. To me that may be one of the keys of "charity never faileth". The Lord is patient with us. He will reach out as often as we reach out to him. Your son will be blessed by your faithfulness, if you will pour out your soul to God for him.
I love the symbolism of this painting by Michelangelo. Adam is pretty casual in the way he reaches to God. God is stretching as far as he can to reach him.
I have had some interactions online that immediately came to mind when I read this comment.
"So many people think unrestrained bluntness is the ideal simply because it is honest - not realizing that honesty can be expressed in numerous ways. Sometimes boldness is necessary - but sometimes, though true, it is cruel, lazy and cowardly." Papa D
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I relate too well to Albert in The Holy Secret. It hit me when I read the phrase, "sin wickedly cloaked in the robes of piety" (p 134). He said it when he pushed too far teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. He appropriately prayed silently, immediately, "Help me to love him, Father - to love him more than knowledge". To love your (child, student, anyone you happen to be talking to when on the sacred ground of repentance and forgiveness) more than being the sage.
James Ferrell says it again succinctly, "No heartache will be soothed by one who merely spouts doctrine at another's pain, even if the doctrine is true". He has a footnote there to D&C 50:17-18, "Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God" (emphasis added).
It has been pointed out to me recently that how I communicate is more important than the words sometimes. Am I speaking to ensure they know I am right? Do I seek to understand before seeking to be understood? Do I admit my fault in the argument we had? Being "right" about a doctrine is trumped by my approach, if I come in with six shooters blazing. Better to be kind. Try to encourage contrition in the speaker and the hearer. Acknowledge my position as beggar before the Lord. Both become hearers of the Spirit. Both are edified and rejoice because of the grace God offers us. The grace we immediately feel because our wills are given to Him. We glory in the healing we feel.
Last night I attended "A Conversation Between a Mormon & an Evangelical" a public lecture with Dr. Robert L. Millet and Rev. Gregory C. V. Johnson at the Tempe Institute of Religion at ASU.
I cannot express how much I enjoyed it. They spoke of "convicted civility" a phrase they got from Richard J. Mouw. It means that I can retain the convictions of my beliefs and allow a close friend of mine to keep his and yet we can have a rich and rewarding relationship. Where the goal is not conversion but understanding. Not score keeping but increased curiosity. It reminds me of a phrase from Jeffrey R. Holland's recent talk “My Words . . . Never Cease” where he stated the LDS claim that we are Christians "respectfully but resolutely". I would have no problem with an evangelical sharing his beliefs with me. Done respectfully yet passionately.
How is this possible? I saw in this 2 hour presentation good-natured joking and teasing between the two of them. They said that their relationship was based on many lunches. Bro Millet said you can say that our relationship is founded on a lot of salad. Rev Johnson then said "and a little bit of pasta in the case of Bob".
By their own description, this was not a Rodney King "Can't we just all get along" kind of relationship. They asked each other hard questions. Bro Millet related a story of another time they shared this presentation. A person asked Bro Millet, "Don't Mormons believe in a different Jesus than we do?" Bro Millet had just finished writing a book on this theme. He was so full of ideas yet his tongue didn't move. In the pause his friend Rev. Johnson said, "Can I take this?" Bro Millet happily conceded. "I wonder if you might change how you ask that question. What if you asked instead 'What do you believe about Jesus?'" He went on to say how the first question is a conversation stopper. Then second a conversation starter.
When they passed out 4x5 cards I was so excited. I thought, "what can I ask these guys?" I wrote. "Rev. Johnson, would you introduce me to someone (an evangelical) in the northwest Phoenix Valley who would like to have lunch with me?" I grew up in the Phoenix area. In high school I had some very good evangelical friends. I was very saddened when I felt my relationship with them had to stop because we could not bridge the gap in our theology. They were very good people. I would expect they still are.
Bro Millet shared a story at the end where he read Just As I Am, Billy Graham's autobiography. At the end he was emotionally moved. He expressed to his wife his conviction that God had used Rev Graham to move His work forward on earth. He quoted Elder Orson F. Whitney of the quorum of the twelve apostles who spoke in the April 1928 General Conference, "God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of His great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous for any one people. … They are our partners in a certain sense."
This reminded me of my good evangelical friends in high school. There is no doubt for me that God moved in their lives. They were completely committed to moral chastity among many in the school who would have persuaded them otherwise. They were kind. They looked for ways to uplift others. Their works are the fruit. They demonstrated to me the Grace of God they had received.
Here is a YouTube video, "Standing Together: Is Anybody Listening?" with both Reverend Johnson and Brother Millet. I recommend it. Here is a summary about what is different about the "Faith Dialogue" Greg Johnson wants to foster. Here is an article written by Robert L. Millet. He tells a story that I think is helpful.
On this particular night, the first question asked by someone in the audience was on DNA and the Book of Mormon. I made a brief comment and indicated that a more detailed (and informed) response would be forthcoming in a journal article from a BYU biologist. There were many hands in the air at this point. I called on a woman close to the front of the church. Her question was, "How do you deal with the Adam-God doctrine?"
I responded, "Thank you for that question. It gives me an opportunity to explain a principle early in our exchange that will lay the foundation for other things to be said." I took a few moments to address the questions, "What is our doctrine? What do we teach today?" I indicated that if some teaching or idea was not in the standard works, not among official declarations or proclamations, was not taught currently by living apostles or prophets in general conference or other official gatherings, or was not in the general handbooks or official curriculum of the Church, it is probably not a part of the doctrine or teachings of the Church.
I was surprised when my pastor friend then said to the group: "Are you listening to Bob? Do you hear what he is saying? This is important! It's time for us to stop criticizing Latter-day Saints on matters they don't even teach today." At this point in the meeting, two things happened: first, the number of hands went down, and second, the tone of the meeting changed quite dramatically. The questions were not baiting or challenging ones but rather were efforts to clarify. For example, the last question asked was by a middle-aged man: "I for one would like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for what you have done here tonight. This thrills my soul. I think this is what Jesus would do. I have lived in Utah for many years, and I have many LDS friends. We get along okay; we don't fight and quarrel over religious matters. But we really don't talk with one another about the things that matter most to us—that is, our faith. I don't plan to become a Latter-day Saint, and I'm certain my Mormon friends don't plan to become Evangelical, but I would like to find more effective ways to talk heart to heart. Could you two make a few suggestions on how we can deepen and sweeten our relationships with our LDS neighbors?"
At that point, I sensed that we had somehow gotten through to some of the audience. Richard Mouw, one of my Evangelical friends,has suggested the need for "convicted civility," the challenge to be true to our own faith and not compromise one whit of our doctrine and way of life, and at the same time strive to better understand and respect our neighbors who are of another religious persuasion.
I remember a neighbor of mine. One who just a few weeks ago politely said they are not interested in learning more about the LDS church. I think I will print out a copy of this and give it to him. What a radical idea! Friends who only try to understand, to be neighborly. Who leave the converting to God.
Now a final note to the friend of Greg Johnson. The one who he said he would introduce me to. I am looking forward to lunch :)
Update Sep 2014
Here is an example of one of their conversations from June 13th, 2012. "Talking Past Each Other"
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